Stop Trying to Control Your Thoughts and Let Go


Negative thoughts are a natural part of human life, but do you try to oust yours? You might aim to stop unwanted self-talk, but you are doomed to fail. Perhaps you’ll think you’re winning occasionally. Nonetheless, your disparaging thoughts will return and bite you when you are off your guard. The only feasible way to deal with them is to let them go.

Reasons you want to ditch negativity

You might know positive thinkers are content and live well into old age. Of course you would prefer to resemble them rather than pessimistic folks. Who wouldn’t?

The only trouble is, it’s doubtful you understand the mental processing employed by the happiest people in the world. You may imagine they don’t experience negative thoughts and low moods because they’ve learned how to banish them. The secret of their success, however, isn’t to reject unwanted self-talk; it’s being underwhelmed by it.

You are the one who thinks

The chances are, you identify strongly with your thoughts, and believe they are an integral part of you. The truth be known, however; you are no more your thoughts than you are your body.

You are the one who experiences your thoughts rather than thoughts themselves. Once you understand this concept, you can mentally step back from them and witness them as an observer.

When you observe your thoughts, you detach from them and negativity doesn’t sting badly anymore. You can apply logic to your worries and recognize they are exaggerated problems, or are based on fantasy, and set such wayward thoughts straight.

The observing, logical part of you already knows it dislikes negative self-talk, so you’re in touch with it, which is a good start. With a little practice, you can learn how to make negative thoughts less important and let them go.

Practice detachment

You need not pay much attention to the worries streaming in your mind. Think of them as mental events. Like happenings outside your head, they can be forgotten. A fly might buzz around you for a few seconds, for instance, but you probably don’t go crazy with worry about it and turn the incident into an issue.

The same can be true about thoughts you dislike. You might note when they occur, but you can swiftly move on to greener pastures. Negativity only grows when you focus on it, so not doing so will make it fade.

Become dispassionate about negative thoughts and your perspective about them will change. Because you don’t see them as a threat, you can release them, just as you would a momentary event like the sound of a car horn that disturbs your peace. Aim not to hate critical self-talk, but to not care when it’s around and you’ll gain peace of mind.